In this refreshingly honest episode of Parenting With Vanessa Kahlon, Vanessa is joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Carrie Johnson—who also happens to be one of her closest friends. Together, they unpack what happens when kids experience a behavioral outburst... and then don’t want to talk about it in therapy.
From school incidents to home meltdowns, the conversation dives into the importance of regulation, emotional safety, and why sometimes less talking is more effective. They discuss how shame, anxiety, and sensory overload impact kids, and offer practical tools to empower parents, teachers, and therapists alike, without taking behavior personally.
If you've ever wondered why your child shuts down after a tough moment, this episode offers grounded, compassionate insight from two experts who’ve seen it all.
Key Takeaways:
🧠 Processing doesn’t always happen in the therapy room – Kids often want to leave difficult experiences where they happened—at school or at home.
🙅♀️ Shame can block healing – For sensitive kids, being asked to relive mistakes can intensify shame instead of resolving the behavior.
🎯 Short interventions are powerful – Sometimes all it takes is 10 focused minutes—followed by fun or play—to make a bigger impact than an hour-long session.
🎧 Regulation strategies matter – Think fidget tools, music, headphones, and self-regulation folders to help kids stay calm and present.
🧍♂️ Don’t take it personally – Whether you’re a parent or a teacher, behavior isn’t about you. It’s a signal—not a personal attack.
Resources & Tools Mentioned:
🎒 Self-regulation folder (with coloring, music, fidget tools)
💡 Break cards for classrooms
🎥 GoNoodle and Cosmic Kids Yoga (YouTube resources for movement and mindfulness)
📧 Connect with Vanessa – Have questions or want more resources? Reach out and let’s keep the conversation going.
🎧 Subscribe to the show – Click here and don’t miss more episodes that blend real-life parenting with honest, healing conversations.
