When Kids Don’t Want to Talk: Understanding Behavior Beyond Words

In this refreshingly honest episode of Parenting With Vanessa Kahlon, Vanessa is joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Kerry Johnson—who also happens to be one of her closest friends. Together, they unpack what happens when kids experience a behavioral outburst... and then don’t want to talk about it in therapy.

From school incidents to home meltdowns, the conversation dives into the importance of regulation, emotional safety, and why sometimes less talking is more effective. They discuss how shame, anxiety, and sensory overload impact kids, and offer practical tools to empower parents, teachers, and therapists alike, without taking behavior personally.

If you've ever wondered why your child shuts down after a tough moment, this episode offers grounded, compassionate insight from two experts who’ve seen it all.

Key Takeaways:

🧠 Processing doesn’t always happen in the therapy room – Kids often want to leave difficult experiences where they happened—at school or at home.
🙅‍♀️ Shame can block healing – For sensitive kids, being asked to relive mistakes can intensify shame instead of resolving the behavior.
🎯 Short interventions are powerful – Sometimes all it takes is 10 focused minutes—followed by fun or play—to make a bigger impact than an hour-long session.
🎧 Regulation strategies matter – Think fidget tools, music, headphones, and self-regulation folders to help kids stay calm and present.
🧍‍♂️ Don’t take it personally – Whether you’re a parent or a teacher, behavior isn’t about you. It’s a signal—not a personal attack.

Resources & Tools Mentioned:

🎒 Self-regulation folder (with coloring, music, fidget tools)
💡 Break cards for classrooms
🎥 GoNoodle and Cosmic Kids Yoga (YouTube resources for movement and mindfulness)
📧 Connect with Vanessa – Have questions or want more resources? Reach out and let’s keep the conversation going.
🎧 Subscribe to the showClick here and don’t miss more episodes that blend real-life parenting with honest, healing conversations.

Vanessa Kahlon
A Holocaust Survivor’s Story: Surviving, Rebuilding, and Never Forgetting

In this very special episode of Parenting With Vanessa Kahlon, Vanessa sits down with someone truly close to her heart—her father, Ben. With the rise in antisemitism around the world, Ben courageously shares his personal story of survival, trauma, and resilience as a young Jewish boy growing up in Tripoli (now Libya), enduring violent riots, family loss, and displacement.

From witnessing horrific attacks as a child to immigrating to Israel and later building a life from scratch through military service, modeling, and acting—Ben’s story is both heartbreaking and inspiring. He speaks about the pain of being denied education, the strength of family, and how he found purpose through perseverance, self-learning, and love for his people.

This episode is not only a glimpse into history but a call to remember, reflect, and recognize the cost of hate—and the power of dignity, faith, and community.

Key Takeaways from This Episode:
🕯️ Trauma Leaves Invisible Scars – Childhood memories of violence and loss stayed with Ben for life—but so did the love that surrounded him.
🪖 Service Built His Identity – Joining the Israeli military as a teen helped Ben channel anger into purpose, protecting others as he had longed to be protected.
📚 Self-Education Can Change a Life – Despite never having access to formal schooling, Ben became a self-taught entrepreneur, actor, and real estate broker.
🌍 Hate Has No Future – Ben reminds us that hate is self-destructive and peace is the only way forward.
🇮🇱 Israel Is Home, Always – For Ben, Israel represents survival, pride, and legacy—and he returned again and again, even after settling in California.

Resources & Next Steps:
📣 Share this story – If this episode moved you, please share it to amplify voices that remind us why history matters.
🕊️ Speak out against hate – Use your voice and platform to stand against antisemitism and violence of any kind.
📧 Have a story to share? – Email Vanessa if you'd like to be part of a future episode on legacy, healing, or cultural identity.
🎧 Subscribe to the showClick here and don’t miss more episodes that blend real-life parenting with honest, healing conversations.

Vanessa Kahlon
How Sensory Processing Shapes Behavior (And What Parents Miss)

In this episode of Parenting With Vanessa Kahlon, Vanessa sits down with occupational therapist Lindy Joffe, a longtime colleague and expert in child development, to unpack the often misunderstood world of sensory processing. With over 24 years of experience, Lindy shares how sensory regulation affects everything from focus and behavior to a child’s ability to navigate social situations.

If your child ever seems “checked out,” overly reactive, or struggles with transitions and noise—this episode is a must-listen. Lindy explains how what we often label as “behavior” is really a regulation issue, shaped by a child’s sensory, emotional, and cognitive state. Through real-world examples and grounded explanations, you’ll learn how to shift from reacting to connecting.

Key Takeaways from This Episode:
🧠 Behavior isn’t always intentional – Many kids aren’t trying to misbehave—they’re struggling with how they process the world around them.
🎢 Regulation happens on a spectrum – Kids may be in a “too high” or “too low” arousal state, making it difficult to focus, listen, or even sit still.
👀 Hidden rules aren’t obvious to all kids – Social expectations that come naturally to some must be taught explicitly to others.
🧭 Emotions + cognition + sensory are intertwined – You can’t separate how a child feels from how they think or act.
🌱 The environment makes a huge difference – When a child is placed in a supportive setting, everything from behavior to confidence can shift.

Resources & Next Steps:
📧 Contact Lindy Joffe – Have questions or want to connect? Email her directly at LindyJoffeOT@gmail.com
🔗 Connect on LinkedInFollow Lindy for insights on child development and sensory integration
📣 Submit your questions for next time! – Want Lindy back? Email Vanessa with your questions to be answered in a future episode
🧠 Reframe how you see “behavior” – Share this episode with your child’s teacher or co-parent—it’s a game-changer.

Vanessa Kahlon
One Liners For Children For The Most Difficult Moments When Parenting -By Janina Nadaner, MFT

95.7 The Game Home Of The Warriors

Saturday Morning 7:30 AM

For Thanksgiving week, it is time to give tips and tricks for parents when it comes to those hard parenting moments. We all know the Holiday Season can cause anxiety for some children so what parent doesn’t want simple one liners to go to instead of saying something you regret. Tune in and hear from one of my mentors on what she taught me and I use daily with all children.

For Janina,

I will always cherish the time spent and I wish we had more time.! Thank you for all you have taught me!

Love, Me

Vanessa Kahlon
Interviewing Singer Jane The Message About Her Autism

Tune in and listen to Jane The Message on her journey through school and adulthood with her autism. Autism looks differently with each person and with the high number of women who have it they learn to over compensate by masking. Learn more about her story and the tools she uses in her daily life to decrease her anxiety and on of them is through her music in hip hop and song writing.

Vanessa Kahlon
In Remembrance Of The Massacre On October 7, 2023 In Israel

For the one year anniversary of October 7th where 1200 men, women, and children, including 46 Americans and citizens of more than 30 countries were slaughtered by Hamas. With 250 hostages taken into Gaza and to this day one year later there are 100 hostages including women and children. On this day I wanted to share my Fathers story of how he and his family fled to Israel for safety and along the way some didn't make it!

Vanessa Kahlon
Learn About The Trio Gene Mutation From A Parent

Tune in with parent, Windus Fernandez Brinkkord, on her journey to get the right diagnosis with her child. Through multiple Dr. visits and finally getting placed in a study they were able to get the correct diagnosis and support years later.

Vanessa Kahlon
Interview Dr. Marina Vaserman About Open Mind School

95.7 The Game

Saturday Morning 7:30 AM

Listen to my interview with Dr. Marina Vaserman about her 10 year journey with Open Mind School. She talks about inclusivity, her path the last ten years as they have grown and about to do their first Gala 10.10.24.

Vanessa Kahlon
Are You A Parent Who Needs To Work On Self-Care? Tune In!

95.7 The Game “Home Of The Warriors'‘

7:30 AM Saturday Mornings

Are you finding yourself not taking care of your own mental health? Are you doing everything for your child? Does your child have a diagnosis where you feel you need to do it all? This is a podcast for you!

Vanessa Kahlon
A Parents Journey To Finding The Right School, KFS School!

95.7 The Game

7:30 AM Saturday Mornings

Is your child refusing to go to school? Is your teacher telling you that your child is struggling in the classroom? Here is one parents journey to finding the right placement for her child’s learning needs which lead her to KFS School, SF!

Vanessa Kahlon
Finding Yourself Frustrated Nothing Is Working With Your Child?

95.7 The Game

Saturday 7:30 AM

Find yourself feeling like you are always yelling? Your child tunes you out?

Does rewards and punishment not working with your child?

Listen here and learn about The 3R Method: Redo, Rewind, & Repair that builds internal reinforcement for the child through relantionship building. This is where you will find yourself yelling less and your child listening more by learning these simple steps and language to use.

Vanessa Kahlon
How To Talk To Children About Death & Dying

95.7 The Game

Saturday Morning 7:30 AM

This is a very uncomfortable conversation and no none wants to have it when it comes to talking to children about death & dying. Here is a podcast where you will get the tools you need to support your family during this hard time. With this interview with Regina Siez, Licensed Clinical Social Worker you will get tips on language and how to talk to your child or friend around death.

Vanessa Kahlon